God & Moses B.F.F.
Dear Stone Diary Tablets,
God is forcing me to chisel all 10 commandments into these “sacred” tablets, even though he could easily use his magic powers to do it himself. Sometimes he makes me feel like even more of a slave then when I was a slave. On the positive side, I’m a real fast chiseler now, especially with all the practice I get writing inside of you; my diary tablets. It only took me a week to chisel this.
Transcribed by the Smithsonian Institute, from tablets recovered by archeologist Sir Arthur Evens on his expedition in Mount Sinai.